Archive for the 'mentoring' Category

April 11th 2008

Let good things and people lead you to other good things and people

When you look back on how you met your friends, spouse, got your job, found your vocation or learned your skills, you’ll almost always find that you were led in an unexpected direction by something or somebody. A painter is asked to paint some theatrical sets and discovers a fascination with acting. A teacher and student discover a mutual passion for French cooking. A book about exceptional investors leads you to an interest in psychological modeling. An attempt to define your goals and learn more about the process of achievement leads to a book about the ‘Secrets of Success’. When you let a conversation or research project take an unexpected turn you never know what may lie immediately ahead. It might be something that changes your life.

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April 3rd 2008

Don’t get attached to ‘stuff’

Comedian George Carlin had a famous routine about ‘stuff’. The more we get, the more we need. When we get more stuff, we buy a bigger house to put it in. The big house is even more stuff. It builds up and up. What is all this stuff?
We live in a materialistic society. We make things in response to a demand that is created within the marketplace which in turn is created by inventors who develop timesaving or luxury items. Got to have ‘em. How important is this stuff? Is it portable? Does it improve the value of your life? Is it educational or visionary? Can you live without it? Most things don’t really live up to these criteria. A luxury car does not transport you faster than an economy car in a world with speed limits. A bigger house does not protect you from weather better than a smaller house. These things are the fruits of our labors but they don’t always truly improve the quality of our lives. Relationships, friends, children, successes in your work, and strong self esteem are valuables; the rest is just stuff. Don’t spend too much energy making a monument out of junk.

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November 19th 2007

Look and act successful

Looking successful doesn’t always mean an Armani suit (although it sure doesn’t hurt!). If you are an artist it might mean paint spattered clothes in the studio and a little black dress at the opening. People like to be associated with successful looking or ‘interesting’ people. A good look says you care about the details, are in good physical shape, whether you’re large or small, and that you have the self assurance that helps so many successful people stay that way through thick and thin.
If you are on a low budget consider the following:

  • Accessories like belts, ties, minimal jewelry and shoes should all be the best you can get. Stay understated and avoid flamboyance unless your profession demands it (like maybe you’re a casino gambler or a gigolo). Wear a nice simple watch. Swiss Army watches have the same guts as a Rolex for a tenth of the cost.
  • Don’t wear your phone on your belt. And make sure it is turned off for all meetings. Never answer the phone while in a conversation or eating. The only exception is if you have a call you’re waiting for and you warned your guest that you may need to take it.
  • Be neat. This doesn’t mean conservative, it means that your taste rather than laziness determines your style.
  • Natural fabrics look better than synthetics. Buy real over fake. They last longer and continue to look good even when they’re beat up. And buy one well made piece over several cheap ones- well tailored clothing makes you look better- taking off a few pounds or even adding a little stature if you need it.
  • Dry Clean your shirts- on hangars, lite starch. Having a few pressed shirts in the closet means you can look good fast even with jeans.
  • If you aren’t interested in clothes, have someone who knows how to dress help you out with your shopping. These shoppers are usually thrilled to be recognized as experts.
  • When meeting new clients or business resources, dress one step up from the norm for the first meeting or until you get a feeling for what is comfortable.
  • Keep a sports coat in the office on a hangar just in case- dark blue goes almost anywhere.
  • Don’t ever wear clothing with logos on it- those days are long gone unless you want to look like a repair person. Especially polo shirts with tech logos- no. no. no.

Why bother with something so material and mundane? Because it makes a difference, sometimes subliminal, in how others assess you as a person or a potential resource and in how you feel about yourself.

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November 15th 2007

Read the life stories of people you admire

“If I wanted to become a tramp, I would seek information and advice from the most successful tramp I could find. If I wanted to become a failure, I would seek advice from men who had never succeeded. If I wanted to succeed in all things, I would look around me for those who are succeeding and do as they have done.”
-Joseph Marshall Wade*

Mentors come to us in unexpected guises and from unexpected places. Sometimes you will not recognize the great teachers in your life until years later when their message becomes illuminated by your own greater depth of experience. For many of us it is difficult to find teachers but fortunately we have access to the minds and experiences of thousands of interesting persons through biographies, autobiographies and interviews. If you are interested in a subject or wonder how someone gets from here to there in pursuing their vision, read how others did it. The lives of successful and influential people offer a great deal of encouragement and inspiration for your own bumbling quest for success. It is amazing how many others made colossal blunders and went down dead ends before reaching their goals. It turns out these dynamic beings are human after all and we can share their experiences by learning their life stories.
*As quoted in A Treasury of Wall Street Wisdom edited by Harry D. Schultz and Samson Coslow.

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October 17th 2007

Keep It Simple: Winston’s ‘Prayers’

If you have a problem or a challenge, write it down. Then write down the solution. Now eliminate every unnecessary word and phrase until you have reached the kernel at the center. Congratulations, you are learning the invaluable skill of self-editing. Successful people know how to communicate clearly and briefly. Put it in a nutshell.
When he was head of the British Admiralty, Winston Churchill was famous for requiring all reports and memos to take no more than 1 sheet of paper. This freaked out the career bureaucrats who justified their existence by creating unreadable, mountainous documents but it really sped up the ancient Royal Navy’s decision making process. Simplicity….it’s a beautiful thing.
BTW, these became known as Winston’s Prayers because his order said: ‘Pray keep the response down to one page or less’. He was known for his archaic (and wonderfully skilled) use of words.

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September 23rd 2007

Recognize and cultivate Key People

Throughout our lives there are certain persons who serve as pivot points, making it easier to achieve goals, make changes and find the resources we need to accomplish things. These Key People may be teachers, family members, friends, business connections or anyone else who takes an interest in who and what you are and who want to help you along. Very often Key People move in the background, affecting the lives of many others, seeing and making the connections that move us ahead in life. Finding and recognizing the Key People in your life is a necessary skill for achieving personal and professional success.
The first place to look for these mentors is in your past. Who has helped at times when you were stuck, frustrated or in trouble? Have you ever gone back and thanked them from the perspective of time and experience? Reestablishing and maintaining contact is important to finding and working with your Key People.

Look for Key People in the lives of others:

  • Does a friend have a boss who takes an active interest in his or her advancement?
  • Does a classmate always talk about a certain teacher who is so much more effective than the run of the mill?
  • Are someone else’s parents always hosting their kids friends all the way into adulthood?
  • Is there a person who seems to always know where to find a resource or how to go about solving a problem?
  • Is there a person or persons you know who always are willing to make introductions and set up contacts between people with diverse skills and backgrounds?

These Key People are to be found in everyone’s lives- although many of us may have ignored their presence or resisted their attempts to help. By cultivating and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships with those people you will help to build a very effective team to aid in your route to success.
Put together a business contact list and keep the people on it up to date with what you are doing. Use the list to send out copies of things you’ve read or benefited from to others on the list. Make introductions when you meet people who can act as resources to each other. Eventually you’ll find yourself being regarded as a Key Person in their lives, a real measure of personal success.

Then take it to the next level and start actively making connections for the benefit of others.

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